You might not agree with me 100%, but I pray that everyone who reads this is blessed.
It has officially been 6 years since I last had sex. I’m neither proud nor shame to say this; but I hardly ever discuss it. I don’t share this portion of my journey often because I’ve been mocked and laughed at. I’ve been told that no man would wait until marriage to have sex, not in this day and age and so forth. I know all these are lies and seeds to distract me from honoring God and myself; we have to trust that God will present someone to us that is not only honoring their own body but most importantly honoring God with their lives (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). We have to be mindful of the advice that we listen to, not all advice is good for us (Psalm 1). Let me just say, we are not cars that need to be test driven, we are living beings. Sex, especially good sex, has a way of clouding our vision and causing us to remain in unhealthy relationships that aren’t worth our time and efforts.
It has not been an easy journey and there were times when I wanted to give into my flesh, but I knew I wanted a different outcome. It gets old giving yourself to someone who doesn’t value you; how can someone value you if you don’t teach them your worth? How can you teach them your worth if you don’t know it? Don’t know someone died for you thousands of years ago? (John 3:16) God has to get us alone enough to strip us of the lies that we have believed over ourselves for so long and replace them with truths. (Romans 12:2) I had tried the whole waiting until marriage thing once before and failed. My motives were different then; I was trying to trap my man into marrying me by holding out. Obviously this it work!
There were nights that I had dreams that were sexually related and I would have to cry out to God. Many times I asked why I kept having them, and then I realized some of the things I was watching and listening to were opening doors to the enemy. It may sound crazy to some and that’s fine for you, but I know the spiritual battles I have had to fight. As time progressed the dreams would become infrequent but every now and then they would show up. For years I engaged in the dreams but then I started fighting in my dreams not to get entangled. I would force myself to wake up, pray and cover my home with the blood of Jesus Christ. I had to get rid of many of my DVD’s and music albums. You don’t realize it sometimes, but seeds are being planted, both good and bad, they eventually will bear fruit (James 1:13-15). An example would be listening to: “baby making music” while you’re in your single season; if you listen to that type of music enough you’ll be wanting to have sex.
I pray that your journey regardless of what you choose to call it, celibacy or abstinence doesn’t matter to me, is a journey where your heart is in the right place. As you go encourage your brothers and sisters who may be on this journey as well. Feel free to share this post with others who may need to be encouraged as well. Every moment that I think that I'm alone I'm reminded of when the Prophet Elijah ran to the cave and thought he was alone, and God reminded him that he wasn't the only in left honoring God. You're not alone (1 Kings 19)!