“Don’t be so afraid of being rejected that you reject the spouse I have for you!” was what I saw and heard from GOD, when I woke up from a dream on February 17, 2017. All of us in some capacity have dealt with rejection. I didn’t even realize I was struggling with and losing to rejection as much as I was before those words were spoken to me. Although insecurity was one of the symptoms of rejection I had no idea what I was in for. It’s as though that statement became frightening instead of revelation.
Has GOD ever revealed something to you and it made you want to run and hide? But it’s like what King David said in Psalm 139:7: ‘I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence!’ If you read the following verses you will see there really is nowhere to go to hide from GOD. I had to face the very thing GOD was trying to reveal to me. It wasn’t just about my future spouse it was about all the things that were tied to me.
Something rejection doesn’t tell you is: the fear of being rejected will have you rejecting people to avoid being rejected. Rejection and the fear of it, allows us to put up a brick wall and declare that we are “guarding our hearts!” Are we guarding our hearts in the manner in which GOD was telling us to (Proverbs 4:23) or according to our definition of it? Of course we don’t want to be lonely in life, yet somehow we’ve been tricked into thinking that if we don’t allow people to get too close to us then we won’t get hurt.
Whether it came from childhood or adulthood, whenever you encountered rejection, know that you aren’t the only one who deals with it. My decision to face that seed of rejection led me to acknowledge a few things.
As a parent: how has rejection affected me? It made me want to “protect my children from rejection,” so much so that I’ve caught myself discouraging their optimism for fear that they would be rejected. Without realizing it I was instilling fear in them, thank GOD, the Holy Spirit brought this to my attention to help me catch myself doing it.
As a friend: how has rejection affected me? I would occasionally build up a wall in my friendships and push people away and one day the Holy Spirit began to show me this habit. In both 2017 and 2018, I would sit in silence and try to figure out why some days I was the friendliest person on Earth and why other days I had a bad attitude; I knew nothing was wrong with me mentally but something was going on. And I prayed over and over for God to help me to stop pushing people away. For one how could I show the love of Christ if my personality fluctuated? All along rejection was there feeding me lies. ‘This person won’t like me anymore if I share my beliefs in God,’ so I would push them away if they didn’t believe like I did. Or, ‘that person is more likable than you’ and it would go on and on. At times rejection tries to creep in with the last one to try and make me feel like who I am isn’t good enough to be liked. But how many people know that even if their mother and father were to abandon them, GOD would never forsake (abandon, desert, leave, quit, depart from, leave behind, leave high and dry, turn one's back on, cast aside, give up,
reject, disown;) us. While there were times where I sat in
those thoughts of rejection too long, we mustn’t forget that the living word of
GOD tells us to destroy and take captive of every thought to make it obedient
to Christ. You are loved! I am loved! I have the greatest love of all (John
3:16) as do you!
As a single woman: how has rejection affected me? I would find myself believing GOD for my husband yet, I was saying I wasn’t ready. How was I saying I wasn’t ready? I was declaring that I wanted to get married only after I obtained certain physical traits. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to work on yourself, but I had deemed myself unworthy because I didn’t “have it altogether.” Another way we deem ourselves not ready is by mistakenly thinking that we have to be perfect for marriage. Preparation and perfection are two very different things. Strive for Excellency yes, but don’t fool yourself into thinking you’ll be perfect for marriage. If that were the case I don’t think the husband would be given the task to wash his wife with the word of God.
I know this post was longer than normal however I really want us to get it! Let’s not forget that even Jesus was rejected, “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first” (John 15:18). So if we can go to anyone concerning our feelings of rejection than surely we can go to Christ for clarity, love and truth.
Additional scripture: Isaiah 53:3, John 1:11, Romans 15:13, Psalm 94:14, 1 Peter 2:4*, 1 Peter 5:7, 1 Samuel 8:7