For The First Time



For the first time, it doesn’t hurt to see my flaws. I’m unsure if anyone has ever found themselves, uncovered before God, and despite all their flaws didn’t feel shame. I personally hadn’t ever felt it before this moment, but that is where I found myself this week.

As I was driving to the store, I became so aware, once again, of my need for Jesus Christ. Yet this time, I felt no self-condemnation, I didn’t feel the need to hide, I just felt the peace of wow, I need Christ in this area even more than I realized before and in His presence is the perfect place for me to be. Earlier that evening I decided to play some worship God music, from Hispanic artists. As I listened to one of my favorites, Grupo Barak, this song that I hadn’t heard, as old as it is played and instantly I was plugged in. “Fuego y Poder” and I just prayed that my spirit would bear witness to the spirit of God within their music because in God there aren’t these language barriers (at least in my heart there aren’t). As I prayed and understood parts I got excited. I put the song on repeat because I was so fired up!

Here's where it got interesting for me! When I was able to stop driving and safely watch the music video, I realized the captions were in English so I could read along as they sang in Spanish. The words my God, were about tearing down idols and asking God to come with His fire and power! My prayers prior to the song and along with the song, were for God to remove the things in me that were hindering me and contrary to Him. I was asking Him to clean me up! My prayers were going up to the Kingdom of God all while having no condemnation, for the very first time.

Beloved, if you are in the presence of God, then you are in the perfect place. This place is the perfect place to be honest, to let your walls fall, to see you, to be healed, set free and so much more.

 I’m not saying I won’t ever have to cast down condemnation again, I certainly hope I don’t ever wrestle with it again; However, I’m saying how great a place it is to know you’re flawed, able to go before the one who can cleanse you and not feel like maybe I’m just too much or I’ve gone too far or any of that. Really, I believe the ability to go before our Abba Heavenly Father, aka God, is our inheritance. By golly there is a freedom that comes from that knowledge. One I haven’t always had a grasp of, but I thank God for that/this moment of true awareness. Self-aware and child of the true & living God aware! What I felt was, ok I need work here, let me slow down and allow God to have His perfect way in this area. My previous routine was, see my sins & s.m.h that I was still struggling with these same sins and that I even had to go to God yet again about it. For lack of better terms, like a dog with its tail tucked is the best way I could describe the level of shame and guilt and self -wallowing that I’ve felt in the past. I know I’ve been saying self-condemnation most of this blog post, but truly the above description is the raw notion of the previous points.

My slowdown may look different from yours, for me it was slowdown on social media sometimes and slowdown on filling all my time with conversations with people. Spend time with God & His precious Spirit through His mercy in Jesus Christ! Perhaps listening to the song may reveal something different to you, but I encourage you to give it a listen. If we're going to be better disciples of Christ, the work must start and continue within, in the words of apostle Paul: "...not that I have already reached perfection" (I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. - Philippians 3:12). This is a continued work until the return of Christ, or we die, whichever comes first. 

As usual, Stay Blessed!