For The First Time
For the first time, it doesn’t hurt to see my flaws. I’m
unsure if anyone has ever found themselves, uncovered before God, and despite all
their flaws didn’t feel shame. I personally hadn’t ever felt it before this moment,
but that is where I found myself this week.
As I was driving to the store, I became so aware, once
again, of my need for Jesus Christ. Yet this time, I felt no self-condemnation,
I didn’t feel the need to hide, I just felt the peace of wow, I need Christ in
this area even more than I realized before and in His presence is the perfect
place for me to be. Earlier that evening I decided to play some worship God
music, from Hispanic artists. As I listened to one of my favorites, Grupo
Barak, this song that I hadn’t heard, as old as it is played and instantly I was
plugged in. “Fuego y Poder” and I just prayed that my spirit would bear witness
to the spirit of God within their music because in God there aren’t these
language barriers (at least in my heart there aren’t). As I prayed and understood
parts I got excited. I put the song on repeat because I was so fired up!
Here's where it got interesting for me! When I was able to
stop driving and safely watch the music video, I realized the captions were in
English so I could read along as they sang in Spanish. The words my God, were
about tearing down idols and asking God to come with His fire and power! My prayers
prior to the song and along with the song, were for God to remove the things in
me that were hindering me and contrary to Him. I was asking Him to clean me up!
My prayers were going up to the Kingdom of God all while having no condemnation,
for the very first time.
Beloved, if you are in the presence of God, then you are in
the perfect place. This place is the perfect place to be honest, to let your
walls fall, to see you, to be healed, set free and so much more.
I’m not saying I won’t
ever have to cast down condemnation again, I certainly hope I don’t ever wrestle
with it again; However, I’m saying how great a place it is to know you’re
flawed, able to go before the one who can cleanse you and not feel like maybe I’m
just too much or I’ve gone too far or any of that. Really, I believe the
ability to go before our Abba Heavenly Father, aka God, is our inheritance. By
golly there is a freedom that comes from that knowledge. One I haven’t always
had a grasp of, but I thank God for that/this moment of true awareness. Self-aware
and child of the true & living God aware! What I felt was, ok I need work
here, let me slow down and allow God to have His perfect way in this area. My previous
routine was, see my sins & s.m.h that I was still struggling with these
same sins and that I even had to go to God yet again about it. For lack of
better terms, like a dog with its tail tucked is the best way I could describe
the level of shame and guilt and self -wallowing that I’ve felt in the past. I
know I’ve been saying self-condemnation most of this blog post, but truly the
above description is the raw notion of the previous points.
My slowdown may look different from yours, for me it was
slowdown on social media sometimes and slowdown on filling all my time with
conversations with people. Spend time with God & His precious Spirit through
His mercy in Jesus Christ! Perhaps listening to the song may reveal something different to you, but I encourage you to give it a listen. If we're going to be better disciples of Christ, the work must start and continue within, in the words of apostle Paul: "...not that I have already reached perfection" (
As usual, Stay Blessed!
